Ars Amatoria – Ancient Roman Flirting Tips – Could They Still Work?

Conny Waters - AncientPages.com - When it comes to history, some things never change, like, for example, a man’s attempt to find a suitable woman. Ancient Roman men had the same trouble as modern males. Unable to surf the internet for tips, they had to rely on Ovid and his advice on handling romantic matters.

Cornelia pushes away Ptolemy's crown, by Laurent de La Hyre. Credit: Public Domain

Publius Ovidius Naso, known as Ovid, was a poet who lived during the reign of Roman Emperor Augustus. Ovid had many ideas on how men should proceed if they wished to pursue a romantic relationship.

In fact, he had so much to say about this subject that he compiled a book that revealed several flirting tips. The book was named Ars Amatoria (The Art of Love) and became popular among ordinary people. Emperor Augustus was less impressed with the work.

Written in 2 C. E., Ars Amatoria was the first book in the series discussing Ovid’s theories and ideas on how people should deal with their love life, focused on how a man can find a woman. The second book explained what he must do to keep his woman, and finally, in the third book, Ovid offered his advice on what a woman must do to win and keep a man’s love.

Before going into details, Ovid says, “Should anyone here not know the art of love, read this, and learn by reading how to love. By art the boat’s set gliding, with oar and sail, by art the chariot’s swift: love’s ruled by art.”

Some of Ovid’s flirting tips were:

1. Make sure you are physically presentable.
2. Use flattery.
3. Don’t forget her birthday.
4. Don’t ask about her age.
5. Learn how to sing and dance because women find those skills attractive in a man.
6. Write her beautiful poems.
7. Makes promises.
8. Go to the theater because is a great place to pick up girls.
9. Drink wine. It gives you courage.
10. If you want to be loved, be lovable.

This is just a small sample of Ovid’s flirting tips, and frankly, one must say some of them are still practiced today.

Delacroix, Ovid among the Scythians, 1859. National Gallery (London). Credit: Public Domain

Ovis was a talented poet, but historians cannot explain why he was exiled from Rome sometime around 8 C.E.

Emperor Augustus ordered all of Ovid’s books to be removed from libraries, and the poet was sent to the Black Sea city of Tomis, present-day Romania, where he died in 17 C.E.

It is unlikely that Ars Amatoria was responsible for Ovid’s banishment because the work had been circulating for eight years before Emperor Augustus said the poet had no place in ancient Rome. Historians think it is more probable Ovid was caught up in political disputes, and Ars Amatoria was used as an excuse to banish him from Rome.

Ovid’s work is not a perfect guidebook for love, and some suggestions are far from successful. There are also a couple that could bring you in real trouble. Ovid said some horrifying things, like for example, that if a woman resists, she wants to have sex, and a man should force himself upon her. The ancient book contains many other flirting examples that are less dangerous and will not send you to prison. Instead, they can just give you a good laugh.

Ars Amatoria is written in an entertaining and humorous way. Ovid used mythological stories as examples, and it’s a fun read that shows some things never change.

Updated on February 26, 2023

Written by Conny Waters – AncientPages.com Staff Writer

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